Wake Windows Are Fake
You might be here because you saw my story that casually mentioned, “oh, and wake windows are fake.” Yep, I meant what I said 😂. It confused a lot of you (understandably), so I wanted to lay out my full thoughts.
Babies Don’t Run on Timers
Babies do not have a set duration of time they’re “supposed” to be awake or asleep. Their sleep needs are nothing like ours as adults. Their cycles are shorter, their bodies are growing, their brains are developing at lightning speed, and they rely on sensory input in ways we don’t. And here’s the kicker: it’s different from baby to baby.
One baby might thrive on just 9 hours of total sleep in a 24-hour period, while another might need closer to 15. Just like adults, babies have their own unique range of needs.
Why Wake Windows Don’t Work
Wake windows aren’t based on solid research. They’re averages, not rules. And my real issue with them is this: they often chip away at a parent’s confidence. Instead of tuning into their baby’s cues, parents start watching the clock. That disconnects you from the very instincts that make you the perfect guide for your little one.
Instead of wake windows, try tracking sleep across a full 24-hour cycle. This will give you a clearer sense of your child’s unique rhythm and gives you back flexibility in your day.
And remember, don’t push your baby to sleep just because the clock says their “window” is up. Sometimes they just need a reset outside, a change of scenery, or even a snack.
What Really Impacts Sleep
Sleep can be disrupted by so many normal factors:
Teething
Developmental leaps
Sickness
A tough day with lots of new input
Environmental issues (like mold or allergens)
Structural differences (oral ties, airway obstructions)
Nutritional imbalances (like low ferritin)
Sensory sensitivities
etc etc
Newborns often sleep more soundly in the early weeks, so it can feel like they’re “regressing” as time goes on. But that’s not really what’s happening. Your baby’s brain is growing at the fastest rate it ever will in the first three years. Those frequent wakings are part of that growth and they serve a purpose. Babies need support, not a schedule that tells them when they “should” be sleeping.
Why Programs and Schedules Fail
This is why strict wake windows and rigid sleep schedules will never truly work. Every nap will vary. Every stretch of awake time will look different. Babies and toddlers are constantly growing, developing, and changing. It is unrealistic to expect their sleep to stay the same week to week or even nap to nap.
If you find yourself spiraling down the internet rabbit hole, searching for answers about why your baby isn’t sleeping, pause. Step outside. Take a few deep breaths. Then reassess. Does your baby truly need to be asleep right now? Or do they need connection, sensory play, milk, a snack, or simple co-regulation with you?
Babies Don’t “Fight” Sleep
Here’s something I wish every parent knew: babies don’t fight sleep. Sleep is a biologically normal function and it will happen when their bodies are ready and they feel safe.
When a baby seems to “fight” sleep, it often means something else is going on. Maybe they’re picking up on your stress (mirror neurons in their brain literally fire in sync with yours). Maybe they sense the environment doesn’t feel quite safe or connected. From a survival standpoint, staying awake is their way of making sure you’re okay because without you, nothing is safe.
This isn’t a problem with your baby. It is simply a misalignment between Western cultural expectations and the biological needs of human infants. We are a species of carry mammals. We need closeness, connection, and safety to thrive.
And Yes, Cat Nappers Are Okay Too
Some babies take long stretches, others are cat nappers. Both can be completely normal. If your baby is cat napping and also struggling with colic, skin symptoms, or other discomforts, then it’s worth looking into things like food sensitivities. But short naps on their own? Totally fine.
So here’s the bottom line:
Wake windows don’t serve your baby and they don’t serve you either. They pull you away from your intuition, ignore your child’s cues, and set unrealistic expectations. Your baby isn’t broken. You’re not doing it wrong. And sleep isn’t a battle to be won. It is a relationship built on safety, trust, and connection.
Okay okay, I’ll stop here (for now 😉). But I’d love to know—did anything in this blog spark your curiosity? Drop me a note and let me know what you’d like me to unpack in my next post!
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